People rub their cooch juice all over themselves and it’s called Vabbing
Doing wacky shit is a central tenet of TikTok. You simply can’t exist on the app without filing your own teeth or performing C-sections on pickles and bananas. But doing crazy things in the name of love is perhaps the most sacred dogma. And with that in mind, I present to you: vabbing.
A moving portmanteau of the words “vagina” and “dabbing”, which I hope Rupi Kaur incorporates into a poem a day.
Essentially, vabbing is wearing your vaginal secretions like perfume. Just squat down, dig your fingers inside of you, and scoop that shit up like you’re trying to squeeze the last bits of moisturizer out of a jar. Dab the juice wherever you normally spray perfume – wrists, neck, behind the ears – and voila.
According to the sages of TikTok, the pheromones in your coochie juice are meant to send potential partners into a tizzy. Say goodbye to the naughty, sexy perfumes you’ve been collecting for years in Makkah, because there’s a new EDP (Eau De Pussy) in town.
Influencer, analyst and fashion editor mandy Leeaka @oldloserinbrooklyn, is one of those TikTokers who can’t get enough of vabbing.
@oldloserinbrooklyn Vabbing, more effective than bend and snap #phermones #datingadvice #learnontiktok ♬ Blue Blood – Heinz Kiessling & Various Artists
“I swear if you vab you’ll get people, like a date, a one night stand,” she said in the video.
“Or you’ll just get free drinks all night.”
Intriguing! A reaction shared by an impressive number of people in the comments.
“What’s in the Gwyneth Paltrow??” one person wrote.
“Bestie, are you telling me to juice my veal cutlet like it’s Chanel #5?” writes another.
But some people have touted the virtues of vabbing.
“I had a friend who did that for job interviews! Lol she would also schedule them when she ovulates,” one pro-vabber wrote.
“I kept this for SO long. Let’s take over the world, ladies,” wrote another.
Vabbing first came on stage in an episode of the Secret Keepers Club podcast, which is hosted by comedians Carly Aquilino and Emma Willman.
According to The Cut, the duo talked about a companion who used his bullet sweat as cologne in a previous episode, prompting a listener to give him a whirlwind with his own cat juice.
She said she had had “overwhelmingly positive results” and people have laughed at each other ever since.
@sister.siren Is it the men or is it the #vab 🤦🏻♀️ (ps it’s both) #vabbing #pheromoneperfume #pheromones #singlelife #attractiontips #howtobeabaddie #howtoattractmen
While this is all well and good, experts believe that DIY perfume is just as good as snake oil.
Professor of Evolutionary Biology at the University of Melbourne Marc Elgar told Triple J’s The Hook Up that humans don’t have glands that produce pheromones (the chemical that animals produce so they can communicate with each other).
“I mean, it’s the oldest, most ancestral way of communicating. Do we use it in humans? he said.
“I’m sure we did in our ancestral past, maybe we used smells, when homo sapiens first emerged as a separate species. Do we use them now? I suspect that nope.
“I think the whole idea of vabbing is hilarious and I hope no one takes it too seriously.”
To vab or not to vab… that is the question.
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Source: TikTok / @thelomichelle / @sister.siren / @oldloserinberlin